Beware: I'm not perfect! Here's proof.
As I was sitting during my quiet time, I tried guessing about what God would want me to read about in the Bible today. I started to think about how God is trying to work in my life and a particular situation come to my mind, and it was specifically about my quick mouth.
People usually tend to think of me as quiet, reserved, and meek. Yet, this is not me. I'm more like a snake sometimes. I lay in waiting for the perfect moment and strike with all I've got. When it comes to close friends or even my husband or kids, I really have a mouth on me. Don't get me wrong, I almost never swear. It's not that I haven't ever sworn. I definitely have, but I've learned to curtail that part of my mouth. I know that it's not ladylike, and certainly not godly behavior. But in pushing down that area, I've let another area slip through my filter cracks. It makes me somewhat sick to my stomach to admit this in writing, but I know that this is one way I can remain accountable for my mistakes.--- I can be downright mean! I don't mean to be mean, but it's one way my inner thoughts slip out.
I disguise the meanness as jokes. I may not mean to hurt someone's feelings, but when I let the quick wit I inherited get by my filter, I say funny things that are hurtful. People who are my friends can attest to my flaws. Unfortunately, but probably subconsciously on purpose, I direct my quick wit to my husband or at his expense. Instead of coming out and saying, "I don't like how you did that," I prefer to wait and let the experience fester. This way it oozes out of me when I least expect it. Maybe I think I'm not accountable for my words, or that they will be cushioned if it comes out that way. But I'm really not certain why this occurs. All I can say is that it is definitely not kind.
During my quiet time, I read Proverbs 31:12 "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." This verse came to my mind as I thought about my words and I know why. To be a truly godly wife, I need only to bring my husband good, and not evil. To harm my husband with my words is to damage the head of my household. How can he lead when he is damaged over and over again by my words. I thank God that these slip ups are not an everyday occurrence for me, but they might stick in his mind longer because they were intended to use humor.
My husband is a good guy. He loves the Lord, he respects me, and he is a great Daddy to our children. He definitely has his flaws too, but we really love each other and we know that God has a plan for us together and separately. I went through my photos today and found a picture I love the best of my husband, Paul. It is of him doing something he enjoys so much, playing his guitar. I wanted a good representation of his best side to put on this blog to remind me that a godly wife brings good to her husband all the days of her life.
Today, I am praying that God would put a cap on my quick wit so that I would not harm people with my words. Father, please help me to only speak loving words instead of sharp words. I pray you would give me more love so that any evil words in me would dissolve into Your Words. I need more of You in my life!
By the way, the coolest thing about my husband's musical interest is that he only plays hymns and Christian music! He sings too! I love his voice :-)
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